Doesn't it make you proud to be British?
About one in four Britons watched the elite entertainers of their nation on Saturday. No, I'm not talking about England's drab 2-2 draw with Switzerland, I'm on about the Britain's Got Talent final.
I've not actually watched the show before now, as I lived under a rock. And despised Piers Morgan. I am however aware of the likes of Diversity, Susan Boyle, Signature and Spellbound. So, imagine my disappointment in tuning in this year.
Nearly every act was a crushing disappointment, and it's all down to one small factor that the judges haven't realised yet: when someone does something unexpected for what they look like, it's only interesting once. That's why Paul Potts sank like Rik Waller in a swimming pool. That's why SuBo's boring when she's not in meltdown.
So what was billed as the best this country had to offer was actually a load of gimmicks, masquerading as talent. Steven Hall looked like a retired maths teacher and danced to Beyonce. It's funny once. Paul Gbegbaje was a black teenager who happened to be a gifted pianist. He wasn't that extraordinary though, it was just that he looks more like a hip-hop star than a classical musician. Michael Collings and Ronan Parke both had voices you wouldn't expect when they walked on stage, but are they two of the most talented individuals this country has to offer? No. No way.
But what else would you expect from a Simon Cowell show? There must be hundreds of dancers across the country - better than James Hobley - who ground their teeth as Simon told James that he has a great talent for interpreting the music. What does he know? You want musical interpretation, watch this guy:
The winner, in the end, was Jai McDowell; a Scottish bloke who you wouldn't expect to sing opera. He seemed like a nice fella, he had a good voice, but come on, Diversity won the other year. I was expecting a little bit more from the winner. After the results show, I felt like I'd applied for tickets to the Nou Camp, and received tickets for White Hart Lane.
